I Was Hungry


For the last 3 weeks I have eaten 99% perfectly. Today, I messed that up big time. I eat way too many nuts, some chocolate and peanut butter. And I mean WAY too many nuts. Why……..why would I mess up all that effort and success?? Why?? Because I WAS FREAKING HUNGRY!! That’s why. Tomorrow is a brand new day, one day will not kill all my efforts. I just have to suffer through tomorrow because I’ll feel huge and in general terrible about myself. Just like I do right now, only worse. What can I learn from today?? Probably a few things, for starters I’ll learn that one day is just that, one day. One day of eating out of the norm and in larger quantities won’t kill you. It won’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things. I will also learn that eating all I eat today makes me feel shitty. Just plain shitty. Next time I want to eat all this food I will remind myself of how I felt and ask myself if it’s worth it. Maybe it will be, maybe it won’t. That will be a decision made at that moment. And until that day comes I won’t know the answer. I just hope this is the last day I have this struggle for a long long time. 

Hormones Are Crazy

I stopped taking the birth control pill a little over two weeks ago and my life is so so much different.  My head is clear, I am happy again and my weight is coming down. My work out level is the same, my diet is the same, so the only thing that’s changed is the fact I stopped putting these extra hormones in my body. Hormones run our whole bodies, if you are a woman those hormones fluctuate much more. So, what’s the lesson??  The lesson, at least for me, is not to take a pill full of hormones. I have learned not to do anything that will mess with the balance of my hormones. It just means my body will be a mess and so will my mind. It’s just not worth it.  The problem with this, at least for me, is that I have PCOS. So my hormones are naturally a mess. The pill is used to regulate hormones and that is the “usual” course of action for a woman with my syndrome. So what I am supposed to do??  If I don’t regulate them I am at a higher risk of a few different types of cancers and other horrible things. So I have to regulate them, but how??  Supplements, that’s how. I have read a book on how to naturally control my hormones and the author (a Dr. Who specializes in PCOS) recommends over a dozen different supplements for hormone regulation. So, I am slowly starting to take them. I am going to introduce a few at time and see how my body reacts. I now take about 6 daily and things are going well. I have a few more to add in, but am optimistic  that things will continue to ge well. 


VACATIONIt’s spring break time for my family and we are visiting friends near Myrtle Beach. Vacation is always tricky for me, it’s a time to rest and relax, to eat local food that I don’t have the option of eating at home and to spend good quality time with my family and friends. I love vacations.
But it’s also a struggle for me, I want to stay on my healthy eating plan and my workout plan and not gain weight. But that’s pretty much impossible. Eating foods I dont have the option to eat at home is fun, adventurous and exciting to me. But my body reacts to it and I gain weight. So it’s a balance, I accept that I am going to gain a few pounds and I indulge. The weight tends to come off at home quickly when I am back to my normal environment and I have to remember that. I tend to make the healthiest choices I can and remember that it’s ok to eat different foods and it’s ok to gain some weight. 
So I’ll do the best I can and I won’t beat myself up (or at least I’ll try not too). I am going to enjoy my time away and just be conscious of my decision. And have a drink or two šŸ˜‰.

HOLY Hard Batman

Healthy means eating right and exercising, we all know that. I just wish it were as simple as it sounds. To some degree it is, but when you get down to the nitty gritty making healthy food choices all the time is hard, virtually impossible if you have any type of a social life. Weekdays tend to be my best days and the weekends tend to be tougher. During the week it’s all routine, I plan out my meals and prep them all, so it’s easy. But the weekends, dang it’s hard. We tend to be on the go a lot and that means eating out. 90% of the time I make the right decisions and feel good about it. The other 10% of the time, I order “off plan” for at least one meal. It’s a careful balance because if I am not careful one “off plan” meal can turn into an “off plan” day. 
Eating right, for me, is the one thing that is the hardest out of this whole equation. I tend to avoid social situations if I am not feeling mentally strong enough to say no to the unhealthy foods. The exercising part, at least for me, is the easy part. I have that part down pat. So why is the eating part so so hard?? And why is it easy to negate your workout with food?? It’s just not fair. And I don’t think it’s supposed to be. Life is a struggle and this one particular aspect is my biggest struggle. Some days I wish I didn’t care so much and put in so much effort, some days I wish I would just give up. Other days, I am focused on my goal and nothing can derail me from that. I strive for those days to keep me going. I want every day to be a “focused on the goals” day, but life doesn’t work that way. Again, it’s just not fair. But again, its not supposed to be. My goal is to do the very best I can every day and be proud of what I have accomplished given the circumstances for that day. No two days are the same, ever. What matters is how you handle the day and the circumstances it brings. Every day is a choice, your attitude, your meals, your exercise, etc., it’s all your choice. The good news is that you are in charge of it all. You make good choices for your health and you get healthier. You make poor choices for your health and, well you know what happens. It’s all up to you. It’s your life, your body and your choices. What are you going to choose?? How are you going to take each new day and make it yours?? It’s all up to you, I urge you to make good choices, your body will thank you for it. 

It’s Been Too Long


Life got busy and time got away from me, the result is not writing my feelings and thoughts for a long while. Not my intention, it just happened. 

In the time that I was not writing my weight just kept going up and up. It is terrible really, life got way to stressful (at home and work) and I just eat. I eat healthy foods, but it still amounted to too much. So the weight has piled on and it’s time to take it off and to write about it. I have put forth a huge effort in the last 3-4 weeks and my weight is down a few pounds. So I am happy that I am down overall, I’m not happy about how slow it is going. But, progress is progress. So here’s to keep on keeping on and sticking with my plan. 

Holiday Temptation Time


If your office is anything like mine there are all sorts of cookies, cakes, brownies and other assorted treats being delivered this time of year. It’s ridiculous really. My plan is to just keep saying “I am worth more”. My goals and dreams are worth more than putting all of those calories into my mouth. Sure it’ll taste good for a few seconds, but it won’t taste good when I’m standing on the scale looking at yet another number that I don’t want to see. 

My goal is to stay away from 90% of it. There will be a day where I give in and indulge. That one day is OK. I won’t go crazy and eat a million pieces, I’ll just have a few.  And at the end of the season that one day of a few pieces will not make a huge difference. 

This is by far the hardest season for me. Food is everywhere and it’s so tempting. I just have to make a conscious decision of what means more to me, delicious unhealthy treats or reaching my goals. Sometimes it will be the treats, most of time it will be my goals. 

Happy holidays everyone!!

Starting Over

Ever reach the end of a goal just to mess it all up and have to start over?? I am going through it right now and it sucks. I think everyone has been there at least once. It doesn’t really matter what it is, starting over on anything is just not fun. 

I’ve decided I have two choices. I can either accept the fact that I need to start over and just do it, or I can get mad and angry and then start over. The end result is the same, I start over. There is one more option, to give up on the goal. Anyone who knows me knows that giving up on a goal is not what I do. So I’ll be starting over. I’ll also be figuring out a way to never have to start this over again. Never ever. Starting over sucks, but I have accepted that I need to do it. So that is what I will do.