Ever have to do it??
I will admit I have to do it more often then I would like, take this morning for example. I woke up very cranky. Scratch that, I woke up in a flat out shitty mood. Why?? For many reasons. It’s raining and I couldn’t run outside. So I planned a brick workout (bike ride followed by a run) using my bike trainer and treadmill. I had gotten everything ready the night before like I usually do. I was awakened by my daughter at 5:30 A.M, I’m actually ok with that. We went downstairs and set her up with some cartoons and cereal. I got ready to start my bike ride. I was going to bike for 30 minutes and then run for 20. I got on my bike and set the timer, started a show on my iPad and started spinning my legs. Shortly after the timer went off and I started my transition to the treadmill. I hit start and away I went, or so I thought. The treadmill started making a horrible clunking noise. My bad mood worsened and I got down right pissed. The belt was slipping and it was just not safe to use. So I got off and went back to my bike.
It took me a little while to figure out why I was so angry. Sure the treadmill not working properly was a factor, the rain was a factor too. I forgot to mention above that today was a weigh in day. I weighed myself first thing this morning and that’s actually when my mood went in the crapper. We came home from vacation last Thursday and I weighed myself the next morning, the results SUCKED. I was up 18 pounds. I gained 18 freaking pounds on vacation. WHAT?????? I mean seriously…….WHAT???????? In the week we have been home I have lost 9. So I’m half way there. But I was so pissed at myself for not doing better this week, in my mind all 18 freaking pounds should be gone. Reality does not really work that way. The fact that I am half way there is fantastic.
So, take the being pissed at myself, the treadmill not working right and the rain and I was one angry woman. I have managed to work through my anger and be happy again. How?? Well it took the work of some great friends. I sent some texts and some instant messages to my most supportive friends. The ones who would understand where I was coming from and the ones who would just be supportive simply because they are great friends. All of my friends had supportive things to say. Things like “I am sorry you are having a bad morning”, “I hope your mood improves” and “your workout will help”. I also read some Facebook posts about some friends going through some tough times. And that’s when I slapped myself in the face. How could I have all this self pity when there are people I personally know going through things that are so unfair and emotionally draining, don’t get me wrong, my feelings matter and they are important. However the level of importance I was giving them was all wrong. So I slapped myself in the face, did a reality check and changed my mood. I have made a conscious effort all day to keep the pissy mood at bay. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been worth it.
Oh and just FYI, all the food on vacation, totally not worth the emotions I have faced this week and the struggles of getting back on track. I consider this a HUGE lesson learned (see my last post “Post Vacation Plan”).