My Body

My body has not had an easy life. I have always been overweight to some extent. I was the “fat kid” growing up and in college I managed to gain probably 100 pounds. By the time I wanted to take charge of my health and decided to change I was 330 pounds and miserable. Being that heavy is not good on your physical body. It is very tough on your bones, muscles and major organs. During my journey of getting healthy and becoming an athlete my bones have gotten much stronger, my muscles have grown in size and efficiency and my organs are much healthier. 

So what happens when an injury sidelines you?? Well, if you are me, lots of things happen and I am sure that most of it is mental. Being and endurance athlete and training 6 days a week gives your body and mind expectations of what will happen every day. When those expected and anticipated things don’t happen my mind tends to freak out.  I don’t think as clearly, sleep as well and I am grumpy. I also have this idea in my head that if I don’t work out I am going to go right back to being 330 pounds. I have vowed to never be that unhealthy again and I have managed to keep that promise to myself for over 10 years. It’s foolish to think that I would ever allow myself to go back to that weight, especially since it’s been so long. But in my mind, no workout equals weight gain and a lot of weight gain in a short period of time. Sounds crazy, I know.

A few weeks ago I sat down wrong at work and I tweaked something in my left ankle. Ever since then I have had a dull pain right on the ankle bone, it’s not swollen and it doesn’t hurt all the time. Doesn’t hurt to run, bike or swim. It’s kind of strange. I have been paying close attention to it and it hasn’t gotten worse, until yesterday. In the morning I did PiYo Strength and it felt fantastic. But it was definitely stressful on my ankle, I could feel it testing that joint while doing it. It was a great workout and I can feel it today in my legs, glutes, shoulders and my pesky ankle. So, I am going to give my body a break for a few days. Today I will swim after work and I’ll decide what to do tomorrow later today. 

In the mean time I will be trying very hard to change the thoughts in my head from “you are going to gain so much weight and get so unhealthy and become a fat lazy slob again” to “resting your body will heal your body and you will be healthier in the end.”  In essence I have decided to rest my body now while there is a small pain to make sure that it doesn’t get worse and develope into a serious injury. I also have to make sure the foods I eat are healthy and if I do eat something unhealthy, I need to have a very small portion.  Portion control is usually my biggest food problem, so I’ll opt to just stay away from anything unhealthy, at least while I am taking a break from working out. Gaining weight has always been so easy for me. Loosing weight has been and I am sure always will be my biggest struggle. 


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