What’s The Worst That Can Happen??

Six days ago I whacked my right knee on a metal baby gate. It hurt more than it should have and I immediately freaked out. Why??? Because my half ironman is 4 1/2 weeks away. I have no time for a major injury, or a minor one for that matter. 

I was able to complete my workout, although it was slightly painful. After my workout I was on the floor stretching and foam rolling. I went to stretch the knee by bending my knee so my heel was moving toward the back of my thigh and the pain was incredible. So much so, that I screamed in pain and my daughter came running. She was very concerned and sweetly told me to not to exercise it any more. She was really sweet about it. Anyway, I immediately emailed my physical therapist. I took a picture, drew a line right to the pain point and included the sentence “this is where it hurts”. 

He was quick to respond as he always is, and he asked me if I had any kinesiology tape. He said if I did to tape it in a V pattern. I had no idea how to do that, that goodness for You Tube and Google. I got my tape and  followed the video instructions. I responded back to my physical therapist, again with a picture, and he was optimistic that I would be fine. 

The next day was a scheduled 10-12 mile run. I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to do it. In case you hadn’t figured it out, I was freaking out and getting very nervous. I went about my day and my knee let me know it was there, especially when I knocked it into a table. 😁

I am happy to report that there was no pain when I woke up the next morning and I ran 11 miles with no problems. A big sigh of relieve for sure. 

Yesterday I had a physical therapy appointment and as my therapist was stretching me out he said “how are you doing?” And he wasn’t just being polite, he was concerned and really wanted to know. I told him the truth, that I was alright. I said my big race is 4 1/2 weeks away and I was starting to get my “normal nervous”. I said I keep calm during this time, but my brain quickly goes to freak out mode if anything slightly out of the ordinary happens. He shook his head, then said “I am going to be a big jerk here, what’s the worst that can  happen??” He said “the worst thing that can happen is you blow it up and are not able to do the race, so what? You work on healing and then focus on the next race. ” His point was very valid, I don’t have cancer, my family is healthy, we are in a good financial place right now and my life is really really good.  So why, why do I not change my thoughts or behaviors? Why does my brain understand and agree with him 100%, yet nothing changes? I shouldn’t be nervous, I shouldn’t be scared, and I certainly should not be afraid, but I am. I have the privilege and opportunity to train for this race and to complete it. Life could be so much worse, but it’s not. Why do my thoughts not change knowing this??


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